Starting Anew

It's been a while since I've blogged. Many things have changed. I don't know what's drawing me now to blog...but it feels like "the thing to do."

Blogger, and blogging, helped create my identity and my "voice" at a time when that's what I needed. I began blogging in '02, I believe, at a time when blogging was still fairly new. I made friends - and apparently enemies - via these seemingly simple web pages. I don't really know how important it is to offer this brief history, but...whatever. It's what it was, and it's what it is.

I want to blog now for different reasons than then. I want to blog to get my thoughts down; to connect to another world of people and ideas; to express myself in this medium; and to leave a web history of where I am in my life in this moment. Then, I wanted to blog because I wanted something from the blog, from the readers, and from something external. Now I want to blog for internal reasons...reasons that are mine and do not rely on others. I want to blog for me, now, and not for you.

That being said, this would be my first entry:

I have new neighbors: Ethan and Carol. They are the loveliest people. Ethan is a graphic designer and Carol is an amazing seamstress. They are parents twice - and soon to be thrice. I can walk into their home any time I choose because they have an "open-door policy." I can sit on their floor, play with their two little sunshine punkinheads, talk for an hour, peruse their bookcase for a new read, talk openly about an opposing view, shake my fist at the current political state of the United States, or simply just listen. All of it provides peace because of the loveliness that is Ethan and Carol.

I have a new home: it has three bedrooms and two bathrooms. A yard - small, but a yard nonetheless. A pantry. A PANTRY, YO! Did I mention the washer and dryer? How 'bout the garage?? When you've had less...for YEARS...this is a small glimpse of heaven, let me tell you. It's not mine, as in I do not own it; but it's mine.

I have a new fiance: Collier has been in my life for more than four years, and after spending as much time proclaiming he's not right for me and I will never marry him...I must say...we're engaged. I was married, once. That didn't work out so well. Now I have Collier, and because I was married, I recognize the blessing that is Collier. He's amazing - and this one IS mine:-)

I have a new job: I am working in marketing, a field in which I always wanted to work. Where I am and what I do may not be much, but it provides amazing benefits, sufficient wages, and plently of fabulous friendships.

All of these things make it easy for me to count my blessings. That wasn't always true, but I'm glad I learned to count them when things were rough. Makes it much easier to count them now, when things feel amazingly, overwhelmingly, supernaturally...perfect.

I am not rich. I cannot run out and buy an iPhone. I do not own a home or even my car (yet). But I have the most lovely family and friends and cannot spend one minute - considering all of the other possible circumstances others face on this planet - feeling as if I am not the most blessed woman on this planet.

That's me, in a nutshell. That's what I'm about. I'm happy to be back writing, and I welcome any thoughtful comments or witty retorts. Feel free to lurk, or free to comment. Above all else, feel free to love.

See you tomorrow:-)